Sunday, May 19, 2013

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters - blerghh!!

the Poster:

the Plot:
Abandoned by their father deep in a forest, young Hansel (Cedric Eich) and Gretel (Alea Sophia Boudodimos) enter a gingerbread house and are nabbed by the old witch who resides in it. The witch forces Hansel to continuously eat candy while making Gretel prepare the oven, but the siblings outsmart her and shove her into the fire. Throughout the fifteen years after the incident, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) become famed bounty hunters dedicated to mercilessly eradicating witches. Their work is relatively easy because, for an unknown reason, they are immune to spells and curses. Hansel, however, is diabetic as a result of his ordeal and needs to take a regular shot of insulin every few hours.

One day, in the town of Augsburg, Hansel and Gretel prevent Sheriff Berringer (Peter Stormare) from executing Mina (Pihla Viitala), a young woman accused of witchcraft. Mayor Englemann (Rainer Bock) has hired the siblings to find and rescue several children abducted by witches. Berringer hires trackers for the same mission, hoping to regain the respect of the townspeople.

However, all but one of the party are killed that night by the powerful grand witch Muriel (Famke Janssen), who sends the surviving member back to the town tavern to explode as a warning to the locals.

Hansel and Gretel, with the help of the Mayor's deputy Jackson (Bjørn Sundquist), capture Horned witch and interrogate her. They discover that the witches are preparing for the ritual of Blood Moon, which requires sacrificing six boys and six girls, each born on a separate month.

No sooner than after they found out that the witches are planning to abduct an April-born girl, Muriel with the help of a Redhead witch, and a troll, Edward (Derek Mears), attack the town and abduct the targeted girl. Gretel is knocked unconscious but is brought to safety by a teenager named Ben (Thomas Mann), their local fanboy and an aspiring witch hunter; Jackson is forced to kill himself with his shotgun while being controlled by Muriel. Hansel grabs a fleeing witch by her broomstick, but becomes lost in the forest.

The next morning, Hansel is found by Mina, who takes him to a spring to heal his wounds. Meanwhile, Gretel enters the forest to search for him, but she is assaulted by Berringer and his henchmen for luring the witches to their town. She is rescued when Edward intervenes to kill the men and mend her injuries.
When Gretel asks why he saved her, Edward answers that trolls serve witches and walks away.

Hansel and Gretel reunite at an abandoned cabin, which they discover is not only their childhood home, but also a witch's lair. Muriel appears in front of them, telling them the truth of their past. She reveals that Hansel and Gretel's mother was a grand white witch named Adrianna (Kathrin Kühnel), married to a farmer.

On the night of the Blood Moon, the heart of a white witch is needed to create a potion that makes witches impervious to fire. As Adrianna was too powerful, Muriel targeted Gretel, who was revealed to be a white witch herself. Muriel spread a rumor across the village about Adrianna. To keep the siblings away from the mob of villagers, their father left them in the forest before he was hanged, while their mother was burned at the stake. Following this revelation, the siblings battle Muriel before she stabs Hansel and abducts Gretel for the ceremony.

Hansel wakes up to the sight of Mina, who reveals herself to be a white witch. After Mina uses a spell to bless the siblings' arsenal, Hansel, Mina, and Ben head to disrupt the Blood Moon Sabbath. Whilst Mina mows down dozens of witches with a Gatling gun, Hansel squares off against Muriel's minions and frees the children, while Edward defies Muriel's orders and releases Gretel before Muriel throws him off the cliff. Muriel attempts to flee, but Ben shoots her off her broomstick.

On her way to meet up with Hansel, Gretel finds Edward and uses her stun gun to defibrillate him back to life. Meanwhile Hansel, Ben, and Mina follow Muriel's trail to the old gingerbread house.

During their confrontation, Mina and Muriel battle as Ben and Hansel are knocked to the ground. Muriel fatally stabs Mina. Gretel arrives to find Hansel in battle with Muriel. The siblings then engage in a grueling fight against Muriel inside the gingerbread house, until they behead her with a shovel.

In the end, Hansel and Gretel collect the rest of their reward for rescuing the children before embarking on their next hunt, with Ben and Edward joining them.

the Review:
i found my concentration simply strays during this movie. somehow it lacked the pull of Van Helsing. despite both GA and JR are eye candies, their lack of chemistry on screen as well as questionable weaponry simply unable to draw much enthusiasm for me to continue watching. there wasn't even sense of humor injected in and you find even the evil characters boring.

weak scripts, some say. weaker character development i would add. Mina is forgettable, even though she stripped bare to seduce Hansel.

entah le. bosan nengok citer ni.

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